Missing You ...

To say I'm still missing Old Sammy would be putting it mildly. Every time I have to tell someone else he's gone I cry ... in fact I cry several times a day over his loss.

Sammy was the first dog I've ever lost to old age, all the other dogs I can remember were always given away because of moves by the time they were only a year or two old, so Sammy has been my first experience with death.

When I first met J he had Sammy and back then he was a young 7 ... he was way overweight and very lethargic. I insisted that J take him to the vet and they finally found out that he had a thyroid problem. Sammy had been on medication for that ever since. Once he was on medication the change in him was wonderful ... he lost weight and was active and energetic again, I have no doubt we added many years to his life just be giving him that pill twice a day.

I know 16 is an amazing age for a large dog and he was still able to manage our steep basement stairs right to the end (the basement ban didn't take). Everyone tells me that he had a good long life but I still want him back. I was so upset Christmas morning when I saw him lying there just panting and not moving ... I cried into J's chest that I wasn't ready for Sammy to go yet, I don't think I ever would have been ready. I think I scared my good neighbour D because I had a hard time explaining why I needed him at my house, he must have thought at first one of the kids was ill or something was wrong with J. He helped J lift Sammy into our van in a blanket and I sat in the back with him the whole way to the vet's office. I petted him and told him it was okay ... that I was there and that if he had to go I understood...but I lied. I don't understand and I don't think I ever will. I loved that old dog way more than I have ever loved any pet and I miss him so very much ... Just a few blocks from the clinic he whined a little and struggled in the blanket, I did my best to calm him. Then he went still. I knew then he was gone ... the first living thing to die at my side. We carried him into the vet's office and lay him on the table and the vet confirmed it. I'll never forget standing there in that room with J ... both of us looking at the body of the fine dog that had been with us for so long but for such a short time as well. We both cried then and stood there for a long time, J stroking Sammy's fur and me crying. He looked so small all of a sudden and I knew he was gone but leaving his body in that room was a very hard thing to do.

We took care of the arrangements and payments that go along with this kind of thing. I almost wish for the complete closure burying him would have given us all but I couldn't face it then and I don't think I could face it now either. There are others whose job it is to take care of these things even though they can't grieve for us as well. What Sammy left behind is more than his body and belongings ... what stays with me and continues to make me cry even as I type is the memories of him. How he was always right where you least expected him in a dark room ... how he would only wait so long before trying to take food away from the children ... how the kids would guard each other's food if they had to go to the bathroom ... how you always had to be sure, right to the end - even with his bad hips, to put plates of meat well back on the counter or Sammy would take the plate down with his teeth and eat it all. The stories J has told me about his first 7 years will stay with me as well and I know they will stay with him.

He was more than a dog to us; J likes to say he was like a crazy old Uncle we were caring for in his senior years. Crotchety but loved.

I sure do miss him a lot.

Good-Bye Sammy, I love you,

Cass.

Merry Christmas, May he rest in peace.

This morning our Old Dog was feeling poorly ... he hasn't been eating and even the smallest amount of activity would make him pant and lay down. J and I rushed him to the emergency vet that was open but sadly he died on the way there.

We were happy he went on his own and are grateful for the time we had with him(almost 16 years), we'll all miss him a lot. J and I, of course are trying to keep things as upbeat as possible and only K knows that Old Dog has left us on the day of the year is supposed to be happiest of all. I guess his gift this year was to be free of his old and tired body. I will cut and paste here a comment a good friend of mine left me that has been very comforting for me today.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I'll miss you.

Cass :(

Edited to include a more detailed post that I put on Swap (A Simming group I am a member of):

"I would like to edit my original post but sadly, although we all enjoyed our presents very much something happened just a few hours after my 3am post that just took all the stuffing out if me.

You see, Sammy, our very old(almost 16) dog has been off his food the last two days. For a lab cross this is never a good sign...he was still mobile but panting a lot. Now I don't know who all read my Mommy Blog, but I posted not long ago that I didn't think Sammy had much longer, and I was right(wish I hadn't been).

At 5:00am this morning(yes Christmas Morning), I went upstairs to find that Sammy was laying on his side in the back room where out back door is, panting. While I was petting him trying to comfort him he had a pee accident which I promptly put a towel over and told him it was fine...and not to worry about it. I went downstairs to let J know Sammy wasn't looking good and that I was very afraid that he wasn't going to last the day. While J took a quick shower I checked on Sammy again...he now had his tongue hanging out and was very unresponsive to me. I checked the Yellow Pages for an emergency vet...burst into tears and got J on the phone to get directions. The kids were also up but the only one that was aware of what was going on was K. I wanted to go with J so went to our neighbours across the street to ask one of them to stay with the kids...luckily my neighbour, D was just bringing wood in and I managed to tell him that Sammy was leaving us and we had to take him to the vet...he came over a few minutes later and helped us load Sammy into the van and we left...on the way to the vet office I kept checking on Sammy and just a few minutes before we got there Sammy passed away. The vet confirmed his death at 5:45am this morning.

J and I both had a good cry but managed to put on a pretty strong face for the kids for the rest of the day. K is also sad to know of his death but A and M have not yet asked where the dog is and in the interest in preserving their Christmas I have not told them Old Sammy is gone forever.

My Mom was even over today and stayed for several hours and never asked after the dog so I manged to not ruin her Christmas as well. I had to post the whole story here so everyone would understand if I am slacking it's because I can't see the computer screen for the tears I am crying for my old dog or rather myself ... I miss him so much and wish he hadn't had to go so soon

I'll be around but may not be on top of things the way I should be and I'm sorry but I'm sure you'll all understand.

With my warmest wishes for your Holidays,

Cass."

Busy Morning & A Rant.

What a busy morning I've had! It's hard to believe it's only just 1pm now. This is going to be a long post so you may as well go grab a drink and snack and settle in *grin* I'll wait ...

I'll begin my post with a request that you all send positive healing vibes to my very good friend C; she has an infected kidney stone that is causing her extreme pain and she also has company coming to stay for Christmas and a thousand things she wants to do but can't because she's in too much pain. She's been to the doctor now all that will help is time and your positive thoughts ... think hard now, healing, soothing thoughts for my friend ... all together now, no slackers, just a minute of your warm wishes may be enough to help her further along the road to recovery.

Get Well Soon C!!

As I was saying ... busy day. First of all I had to impose on a sick friend, which I loath having to do. Lucky it was her husband that fed my kids at lunchtime rather than her ... thinking back I should have just packed them a lunch and had them eat at school ( Dang brain! You couldn't have given me that thought sooner??). I returned a baking dish (that C had given me full of yummy food) and dropped off an air mattress and pump for her company then realized I had forgotten my Heath Cards which was the only reason I was going anywhere!! So I had to go back to my house. While I was there I figured I'd better take my single foam mattress over to C's as well, I had told her I would loan her the single air mattress but I have no idea where it is. So I took it over to her house as well and then went on from there.

The place where I had to go to get the Health Cards for myself and my three kids renewed is about an hour's walk from my house and I ended up walking right by J's Parent's house so I had to stop in for 15-20 minutes and visit with his Mom since I know one of her favorite things to do is look out her front windows and it would have been rude to walk on by.

After that I went to the Heath Card place and that went amazingly smoothly (maybe everyone is busy shopping?) then I went to the bank, and to the clothing store where I got my Mom a gift certificate for Christmas. Then I walked back to our local mall(which is also where the Heath Card place is - the bank and clothing store are nearby but not in the mall) and stopped in at the food court for lunch. M was with me the whole time(riding in her stroller) and was very very good. In fact every time I heard another kid screaming I kissed her and told her she was a good girl and that I loved her. All together I spent about 2 and a half hours walking.

We finished eating and just missed the bus home so had to wait the full half hour for the next one, I forgot to bring a book so instead talked to a nice young man about random stuff(poor guy) until his bus came then I just played with M in her stroller. Our bus came and there was one other stroller getting on ... accompanied by two teenage girls. **Please note rant begins soon** We both ended up at the back of the bus and I asked how old the baby was ... she said a month and I said she should have been carrying the baby in a sling ... the girls both looked at me as if I had grown two heads and brushed me off. I spent the rest of my time on the bus looking forward and listening to their babbling and holding my tongue with both hands. I wanted to say a lot of things but I think I'll do my rant in the form of a lovely little comparison ... here goes ... picture it:

Two Moms Eve and Jane, they both have one month old babies. Eve has done lots of reading and research and talking to other Moms and has decided to breastfeed and baby wear her little one. Jane has opted for the mainstream way and formula feeds her little one and is always putting it in something other than her arms; car seat, baby seat, stroller, crib, bassinet, playpen and baby swing.

One day Eve is looking out the window while she breastfeeds her baby and notices how lovely the weather is; "Would you like to go for a walk Baby?" she coos at her nursing baby as it drowses at her breast, "Of course you would!" mind made up Eve makes a quick mental list of anything she may need while she is out, "You know we may want to stop somewhere for Mommy to have a bite to eat so I'll bring money and just in case we're out for a while a change of clothes for you and a couple of diapers." Once her baby is done nursing and mostly asleep, Eve puts it up on her shoulder to burp and slowly gathers the things she will need in a small shoulder bag. She picks up her baby carrier and gets the now sleeping baby settled into it. Gathers up the bag, puts on her jacket loosely since it is just barley cool enough for one and heads out the door. Soon she is out enjoying the wonderful day and looking at her baby every now and then and enjoying the view of it sleeping snugly against her chest. Because she has so little with her she is able to do pretty much whatever she wants, have a hot chocolate at the local coffee shop, grab a bus to the local mall and even do some shopping. Both she and her baby are happy and content. When the baby needs changing she changes it and when it fusses she breastfeeds(yes even at the table at the coffee shop, yes even on a bench at the bus stop, yes even on a bench at the mall). Eve and baby have a lovely outing and when they get home both are very glad they went out.

Jane looks out the window as she is propping the bottle for her baby in it's baby seat and sees it's a nice day out. "We should go for a walk!" she says to her baby as it sucks on the bottle. Mentally she thinks of the things she will need while she is out, "We'll need your diaper bag with diapers, clothes and a couple bottles of formula, I hope I'll be able to heat them up for you if we're out long enough for you to eat." thinking more she continues, "Oh and the stroller! I think that's it ... money and house keys. Yup ... okay, let's do this!" Jane checks to see how Baby is doing with it's bottle and then runs around getting everything ready, making the bottles and unfolding and setting up the stroller. She stops long enough to burp baby who ends up spitting up because it sucked in a whole lot of air with the formula and Jane reminds herself again to talk to the doctor about how much Baby spits up, maybe they need to switch formulas again. After changing her clothes as well as Baby's she pops Baby into the stroller, grabs the diaper bag with formula and goes. Jane wants to stop in at the local coffee shop but it is small and crowded and there is no room for the stroller between the tables, so she decides to go to the mall and do a little window shopping. After struggling onto a city bus with stroller and Baby she gets to the mall. Baby wants to eat again so Jane has to search for a while before she finds a place to heat up the bottle, Baby is getting fussy, it is really very hungry. Finally Jane gets a bottle warmed, checks it for hot spots wonders again how healthy microwaved formula is and props the bottle in the stroller for Baby and continues on her way. Baby, tired from crying, sucks on the bottle and falls asleep only to wake up later and spit up again, covering itself again. Jane then finds a bathroom changes Baby's clothes and decides that it's time to head home. Again she wrestles her stroller onto the bus and goes home. When they get there she is tired out and wonders why she thought it would be so nice to go out.

Comparison over.

I didn't even talk about what either Mom would have had to deal with if she drove ( a lot of the same, really) and I didn't talk about cloth vs. disposable diapers (I'll get into that another time). For more information about baby wearing please go to:

Wear Your Baby!
OR
The Baby Wearer.

Both are excellent sites for information on carriers, how to wear your baby in different carriers and even video clips of baby wearing pros. If you have a baby under two, know someone that is going to have a baby or has a baby under two or are ever going to have a family of your own PLEASE take the time to read up on baby wearing. Baby wearing and Breastfeeding are only complicated if you make them that way. There is no excuse to not try.

Cass :)

"Snowflake Extravaganza"

Yup, another thing I forgot today, A's Christmas Concert. It was just about as bad as always, I really dislike school functions. I hated them when I was a student and, in fact, did not go to my Grade 8 graduation or my High School Prom because I dislike school functions so much. My opinion really hasn't changed over the years. A, however seems to enjoy singing in front of the school ... or at least goofing off on the stage ... so I go with him. K never wanted to take part in school stuff so I managed to avoid all the lower grade school concerts with her.

First of all the timing was bad ... Six PM? Please! But I went and took A, we left everyone else at home because I knew it was going to be crowded and boring. I dropped A off at his classroom to get ready and then went down to the gym ... or rather the hallway outside the gym. The Kindergartners were going first so the grade 1 - 3 parents had to wait, and wait, and wait. While waiting I held onto my temper (Next time I will bring a book or music!) and made scathing observations to myself about the other parents like: You dressed up for this?? and It's called a baby sling, why would you bring a stroller into this school? Are you mental? and Why didn't the organize the waiting parents to make it easier for the exiting Kindergarten parents?

Finally we were let in and I stood by the door. Oh yes, they ask you to stay till the end but I only ever stay until my child is done. If I don't really want to be there to see my own child sing badly why on earth would I want to listen to everyone else's children sing badly?? Unluckily this year A's class was dead last. I brought the camera but the gym is so badly lit you can't get a decent picture to save your life and after I took a few I realized I couldn't Blog all of them because they had other people's kids in them and that wouldn't be very fair to post their pictures on the Internet without asking.

So I stood and waited and then couldn't get a decent picture of A anyway because he was in the back row, I think he sang but all I'm sure of was that he was the one goofing off and stuff in the back row. Yup, I'm the Mom of the boy at the back of the class that goofs off *sigh*. Good thing I love him, huh?

He was glad to be done, but not nearly as glad as I was!!

He seemed to really enjoy spending time with just me most of all, and I love to see his happy smiling face, on the way home we got to see our neighbourhood's most decorated house, this shot doesn't do it justice but is pretty cool anyway:



And my final thoughts can by summed up in my version of "Little Drummer Boy"

Little Singing Boy: Lyrics

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
Your kid singing to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Don’t forget your camera to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To take to pictures while he sings, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So be there at six, pa rum pum pum pum,
Please do come.

Little Boy, pa rum pum pum pum
I am grumpy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give you when you sing, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I wait for you? pa rum pum pum pum,
Oh HoHum!

So I waited, pa rum pum pum pum
Like sheep we were gated, pa rum pum pum pum
I stood long for him, pa rum pum pum pum
I was my best for him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then he smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
his dear Mom.

Oh and should I be worried that this sign is posted at my children's school??


In the end I guess I'm glad I went ... Being Mommy isn't that hard tonight :)

Cass :)

All is Forgotten ...

Yup, I forgot something again ... or still ... or something like that *sigh*. As I was talking to K's Grandmother this morning I realized that I had completely forgotten A's eye appointment(which was the 18th!) *sigh* I also remembered I was supposed to call someone about the kids expired health cards as well as go in and get mine renewed. I have to wonder a lot of the time where my head is at when I can go day to day and not remember fairly important stuff like this *rolls eyes*

So I did call about the health cards and I am going to have to go tomorrow and get them all done theirs as well as mine ... I'd go today but I have neglected the laundry situation so badly that I have nothing clean to wear that I can be seen in public in. So tomorrow it is and the lady on the phone told me I can have the kids' done at the same time ... then I'll have to remember to call the new numbers into our Doctor who was nice enough to take us even though our cards were expired. I also have to remember to call the new eye doctor and say sorry for missing A's appointment, he was sick last weekend that's why I forgot. *sigh* A lot of offices now make you pay them when you miss an appointment ... I have got to get the computer to e-mail me from now on ... I'm on every morning so that would be perfect. Silly me, all these tools at my disposal and I never pick them up and use them.

Yeah all the kids are better from the last illnesses I spoke of and K is fine, A was puking over the weekend and so I kept him home on Monday, and M had runny poo (Hey I'm a Mom, I need to know all these things - and I like to share!!). Everyone is all better from that but it meant cancelling another Family Day at the Y :(

I'm feeling icky this morning because I ate too much last night and of course I need to wash some of my clothes. I cleaned the living room and hallway carpet last night and I think I'll do the dinning room tonight. I want the house to be reasonably clean for any visitors we may have; J's Parents on Christmas Eve, my Mom on Christmas Day and K's Grandparents on Christmas night to whisk her away to their place for a week. It's getting down to the wire now with only 5 sleeps 'till the big day! I'm looking forward to seeing J's face when he sees the gifts I got him and I can't wait to see what he bought me! All the gifts are bought and wrapped, except my gift to my Mom(which I will pick up tomorrow while I'm out). J even wrapped mine tricky and put cat jingle balls in two of them so when I move them (I like to attempt to guess my gifts and am sometimes pretty good at it) all they do is jingle, I'm stumped I have no idea what he got me. I do have 4 gifts though so I'm pretty happy :) He always gets me cool stuff.

Well I have to go now ... I think I remembered to say everything I wanted to ... but you just never know!

Cass :)

Oh! I remembered two more things: C and I went out Sunday evening and had a nice snack and chat (which reminds me L, C & I need to make a date for out Mommies Dinner out in January - C reminded me just this morning) AND yesterday she was nice enough to take M for the morning and feed my brood and I lunch! It was a nice break. Thanks Heaps C! Now everyone knows how wonderful, sweet and caring you are! Everyone : I have such wonderful friends and I can only blame my faulty memory for neglecting to mention how wonderful they all are but C especially for the wonderful things she does for me. I am truly Blessed.

The old grey dog, he ain't what he used to be ...

Yeah, Old Dog is 15 now and far from being a pup. He's actually doing amazingly good considering that most large dogs don't make it this far ...

We all love him and I put up with his habit of sleeping on our bed and getting dog hair on my pillow (he seems to prefer my side ... in the picture he's on J's side though) ...

You have to love lab crosses because they can smile :) There is a reason I'm posting about Old Dog today though. Today is the day that his age has really hit home with me. I knew he was getting older and having a hard time with things (like our very steep basement stairs) and I also figured he's had a couple pee accidents because of his age. With little M running around and going on the floor sometimes though this isn't a huge huge deal right now (did I mention I love this dog?). I guess I just thought he'd just keep going. This morning though I saw clearly that the old boy is really feeling every second of those 15 years;

I was upstairs at 4am getting a drink of water when I heard him come thumping up the stairs. I knew the only reason he would tackle the stairs was if he had to go outside so I waited for him. He got to the top all right but then his back legs went out from under him when he hit the lino of the kitchen floor. He was huffing and puffing so I told him I would wait until he caught his breath before letting him out (yeah I know he's a dog, but I thought he'd get the message from my voice). I sat down to wait but he wasn't budging even after he got his breathing under control. I stood by the door and asked him again if he wanted outside and he just looked at me so I decided to go back to bed. As I went by him I stepped in the puddle. Yup he had had to go all right but the stairs had taken too much out of him and he just couldn't hold it any longer. It may have been my imagination but he kinda looked ashamed to me. I cleaned up the pee and dried off his belly for him, told him it was okay and then came downstairs and told J what had happened (right after I told him he was snoring). He went up and checked on the dog a few minutes later and said he was fine, even managed to go outside and wander around the backyard for a while. Sadly the time has come to ban Old Dog from the basement. I hate to do it but the stairs are too much for him now. Hopefully with the reduction in strain on his body he will hold out another year or two ... Right? Right?!? *sniffle* I couldn't go back to sleep ... so I thought I'd blog and sniffle and feel sad. Old Dog is the oldest pet I've ever had (he was 7 years old when J and I met), I sure don't like the idea that someday, way sooner than I'm ready for, we're going to have to take him on that last van ride to the vet's office. He won't be the first pet I've had put down, but he will be the very oldest pet. I don't even want to think about how hard the kids are going to take it, if I'm this upset at the mere thought of it. *sniffle* *deep breath* Okay, I'm Okay, or I will be for now.

While I was grabbing the pictures from the camera of Old Dog that K and I had taken I came across a pair she had taken of me goofing off *grin*. So I will share those now :)


"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!! The Pain! Why is my sweater so lumpy!?!?!"

"Oh! It's just little M sharing Mommy's warmth."

Yes, I can fit a three year old in my favorite at home sweater jacket, M often climbs up in my lap while I'm on the computer and since she insists on being nude most of the time she's cold often and likes to cuddle.

Well that's it for me ... I think I'll go back to bed.

Cass.

A day of rest ... and a funny song:)

Thanks to a very good friend yesterday was a very relaxing day for me! I was having my usual morning chat with C and she asked if she could take my little girl M for a couple of hours in the morning. I, of course, jumped at the chance to veg out for the morning with no children in the house!! It was wonderful ... Just like this lovely picture I found. I played my Sims2 game and got into some random searching for a song I had heard on the radio earlier that morning ... found the video as well, here it is :)

C returned M to the house just before lunch and my older two K & A showed up shortly after they ate and went back to school and M consented to laying down for a nap with me. I had a nice short 1/2 hour nap(which I find leaves me feeling better than an hour long one) and got back on the computer and M slept until 3pm!!

So thanks C, for the wonderful, relaxing, rejuvenating day I had. What would I do without a wonderful friend like you??

Cass :)

Oh, Christmas Tree - 2006

Yup, it's that time of year...so we finally put up our tree. Now this all actually happened about a week or so ago, I think it was December 3rd evening. We use the same 4 foot fake tree every year (it was originally a gift from my first husband's parents-but I don't hold that against it) and have since K was a baby. The ornaments are an interesting mix of 'Baby's First Christmas' and ones J had when we got together as well as ones that have been made by the children over the years. Plenty for our little tree anyway. The lights that I put on the tree were my mother's and are also plenty for my little tree. Once decorated the tree goes way up onto the TV stand so it can't be messed with, this is also where we put the gifts (which we just got wrapped and put around the tree yesterday afternoon!). The kids are excited and it's hard to believe that Christmas Day is only 2 short weeks away.


With all the gifts (except for the ones for J & I to each other) :



Some other shots that were taken that day:

K Goofs Around

A Helps & Goofs Around

M Lounges

And just yesterday:

Dog Pile on Mommy!!

There ... all up to date. M is feeling better, still coughing but better. K was promoted to Dolphin in swimming yesterday and A is still A :)

Cass :)

More Mommy madness ...

Yup ... last night(all night) and today was all about time and how it messes with us sometimes. M was up at least 6 times during the night. The meds that the Doctor at the walk in clinic gave us for her to take to stop her croup cough also gave her nightmares all night and because she drank so much water yesterday she wet the bed three times as well. I was the one to deal with all this so at about 11pm last night(when I was getting up for the second time after just falling asleep to a bed that I needed to strip and remake) I opted to spend the rest of the night on the couch so I wouldn't have to be running up and down the stairs all night. Instead I got to fight my way off/out of the couch each time she called to me and, in hindsight, I realize I should have just slept with her, silly me. Today was supposed to be flu shot day, I had already booked the appointment with my family doctor and I figured I would get all the kids checked while I was there. So here is the run down of what ails us; I'm fine but need to quit picking at my ears and should put some peroxide in them to help clean them out if they are bothering me. I also got my flu shot. K has an ear infection, got some nose spray for her constant sniffling, some acne cream for her pimples and did not get her flu shot. A is as healthy as a horse and after much tearful anticipation took the flu shot like the good boy he is. M has croup, I need to keep up with her puffers(which the doctor had to remind me how they were given-turns out I've been doing it wrong), she also has an ear infection and did not get the flu shot. The kids weigh: K-85lbs, A-60lbs and M-30lbs. I liked the scale at the doctors it said I weigh 210lbs but I highly doubt it*chuckle*.

We took the bus to get to the doctor's, or rather two buses. Our city buses kinda look like this one :) I was thinking if we left at 12:50pm we w0uld make our 1:30pm appointment perfectly because the two routes I normally take that way meet up quite nicely. I got confused after that brief moment of clarity and we were waiting for the bus at 11:50am when I realized my mistake. I went with it though and we were an hour early for our appointment but the kids were good and we went for ice cream after. Then just as we got to the bus stop to head home I decided to run my prescriptions into our clinic pharmacy because they deliver(for free, can you imagine!!) and told the kids to wait, I figured we'd miss the bus for sure. Just as I was coming out it was pulling away(and before you get scared the kids were waiting for me and were not on the bus) but then it had to stop for a red light. I forced the driver to stay there and got my crew on so we didn't have to wait a half hour for another bus! Thank goodness! We got home tired but I hadn't been angry at all today even though we were out(I must have used all my angry up last night) and I had to carry M the last 4-6 blocks without the aid of a carrier(I have a nice hotslings pouch that still works well for M in a pinch) but over-all not bad.

I'm tired tonight and M is still sick and needing more attention than normal and we won't be going anywhere this week so I can keep an eye on her. I have a Mount Washmore in my basement again(which is also my bedroom/computer room/laundry room in case you forgot) that I have got to take care of. Never mind the vacuuming and tidying and present wrapping that needs to be done*sigh*. I'll try to take it one job at a time and not get stressed ... Happy thoughts!!

Cass :)

:( Rotten Day :(

These two lovely ladies give a visual cue as to how I am feeling today ... not good pretty much sums it up. M has a nasty cough, she has coughed almost non-stop all day. So I took her to the walk in clinic and they gave me something for it, which I gave her and now it seems to be helping(a little). I still had to listen to her cough all day and she is still coughing now just not as much. I also had to let the older two miss school this afternoon because K called from school saying she's still feeling awful because of her cold. Also M, because of her cough partly, managed to pee on me twice today ... the second time just a few minutes ago which prompted me to come down stairs. I'm tired out, I haven't had a chance to anything even remotely relaxing all day and I didn't even really have a chance to do much housework because M was a super clingy monkey all day :( and it's only 6:15pm. I have no idea how I am going to get trough the rest of the day let alone tomorrow. I'm a mess and we're supposed to go get our flu shots tomorrow ... I may not get the shots(and I don't think M can because she has a low grade fever) but I do want to see my family Dr since this cough is nasty and sounds like it's going to disrupt M's(and my) sleep tonight.

*sigh* Think happy thoughts for me everyone, I need all the help I can get. Now I'm going to go stick my nose in a book and relax for another 45 minutes before I go back upstairs and hopefully put my kids to bed!

Cass.

Zzzz ... A Sleepy Sunday ... *yawn*

Now my bed doesn't actually look like this bed but it sure felt like this bed looks today!! I was up about 6:30am after staying up too late Saturday night on the computer fooling around and Instant Messaging with friends. After a short time on the computer I decided at about 7:15am to go back to bed. I stayed there until 1:15pm *laugh* it was something. M came down and snuggled with me and everyone was playing on the computers at one point. J spent the morning playing his game on the good computer(aka 'my computer') and I was joined by the children from time to time but other than trips upstairs to grab myself something to eat or drink or to use the bathroom I dozed off an on all morning and well into the afternoon. M was with me most of that time when she wasn't playing or coughing, poor kid, she's got something that's making her cough and nothing I gave her really seemed to help. Whatever it is it doesn't seem to be slowing her down too much(other than sleeping most of the morning ... but then so did I). After I made lunch for everyone I made up a new set of curtains for the living room(by hand) and hung them. I'd run upstairs and take a picture of them to add here but I'm sleepy again and am going to bed here in just a few minutes ... so maybe tomorrow when I post the Christmas Tree pictures. :) J got us take out for supper and while he and A were off getting that K & I did a small clean up of the house, it still needs more work but with M coughing the way she is we won't be going anywhere tomorrow anyway; I can clean more then.

So that was our lazy Sunday. We watched A Christmas Carol (the really old black and white one) and just hung out in the living room with the kids after that. Now everyone is in bed but me so I'm going to join them!

Cass :)

Parent - Teacher Interviews ...

Noooooooo!!!

I heartily dislike the whole Parent - Teacher interview deal. They allot 15 minutes per interview, so the ones before you always run over. Case in point: I had two interviews last night. One for A from 7:15-7:30 I actually got into it at about 7:28pm. That wasn't a huge huge deal because I have a standing appointment with A's teacher every Friday after school now because of all the issues he is having at school. A's report card was the worst I have ever seen ... never had I seen anything like it. Good thing the school warned me. Did you know they don't give F's anymore? No they changed it, now they give R's which stands for Remediation, which means "This kid needs help!". My running joke is that A's report card sounds like a pirate(ARRRRR!!) with no A. He did get two B's, in art, because that's what he does all day; he draws. I'm working with the teacher to help get A on task, he's distracted by everything and doesn't transition well without warning from one task to another. With the drawing at least he isn't disrupting the class the way he was at the beginning of the year and getting sent to the office and/or home for not listening to the teacher or the principle. *sigh* To say I am not happy about the fact that my son is sitting off by himself a good chunk of the day because he refuses to do any school work is putting it mildly. I like his teacher and feel that he is interested in A learning and being successful at school but he also can't ignore the rest of the class all day to help A either.

But on to K's teachers ...

K is my good girl. She has always averaged in the A's and B's with the odd C in non-academic stuff(like drama or art). She's bright, pays attention and behaves. Thank Goodness!! The only complaint, after waiting for about a half hour or more, is that she's 'unmotivated' and could do better and she's shy and doesn't ask for help when she should. In other words, she's lazy like her mother and father. My Mom would hear the same things or close to it. I wasn't applying myself and I was anti-social(at least K has friends!) and would isolate myself from the other students. So no real complaints which is nice.

So after walking all the way there(10 minutes) in the rain and wind at 7pm so I would be on time for my first 7:15pm appointment I got home at 8:15pm *sigh* just in time to put kids to bed. I feel the night was somewhat wasted and I think from now on I will make a point of speaking to K's teacher once a month and of course I have that weekly appointment with A's teacher once a week. That way I can just skip any future parent - teacher interview nights.

To brighten this post I have to add a pic of M in her dress up princess dress that she chose as one of her gifts from J's parents with the money they gave her as a birthday gift. I photo-shopped her onto a castle background :)

Well, my watch alarm just went off. It's 7am and I have to get the garbage, recycling and compost out to the curb and hope that the kids sleep for another hour since today is a PA day. Later we will be putting up our tree and the few Christmas decorations that fit in our house. I'll post pictures :)

Cass :)

A night out with two good friends!

Interesting picture, I know, but one of the friends I had dinner with tonight was very pregnant and short of stealing a pic of her to paste up here this one will have to do. The dinner out, was, in fact, in honor of my good friend L. We wanted to celebrate her soon to be joining the Mom-Of-Three club :) Since she already has two children and is well established with household items a shower would be kind of silly. So my other good friend, C, and I put our heads together and come up with a long leisurely dinner. Which we pulled off ... I think it was over 2 hours long!

We all had a wonderful time and I came home to the kids all being up still 2 hours past their bed times! Now it's even later and also almost 2 hours past MY bedtime but I wanted to Blog while it was still fresh in my mind; that feeling of companionship that I could only get talking to other open minded, in the trenches, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, alternative parenting, Moms.

So if you are reading this C & L, thanks for a wonderful night!! Lets do it again in Early February, Okay?

C: I'll talk to you tomorrow as usual.

L: Welcome to the Mom-Of-Three Club!!

Much love and happy thoughts to both of you!

Cass :)

I want that!!

Yeah the latest thing I am drooling over ... an MP3 player. Next fall I will be walking alone again after around 11 years of no being able to wear my music and take it with me because I've had to be able to hear my children.

This new iPod is perfect.

So I've been roaming iTunes looking for some of the music that has been stuck in my head for the last 10 years and the range of stuff is amazing! Here are just a few songs/albums/groups I managed to dig out of my poor excuse of a memory:

Tone Loc Loc-ed after dark

Alanis Morrisette Jagged little pill

The Cranberries No need to argue

Nine Inch Nails further down the spiral

Nirvana

Weird Al

The Presidents of the United States of America self titled album

Crazy huh? There are also some newer country songs I really like and many songs from the 80's and 90's that I may manage to bludgeon my brain into giving me enough clues for to find on iTunes if for no other reason than to listen to the soundbite and say "Yuck! I can't believe I liked this!" most of the stuff I was hearing on the rock/pop radio stations in the 90's was pretty good though.... Oh, lets play free association, shall we? ... The Barenaked Ladies ... that song ... Wonderwall ... Counting Crows ... Joan Osborne ... Enigma ... NIN's, Head Like A Hole ... Sinead O'Conner ... The Clash ... Prince ... Phil Collins ... Spice Girls ... Gowan ... Micheal Jackson ... George Micheals ... The Batman soundtrack ...

I could go on but M and I have to go get our hair trimmed, yeah I'm finally getting a professional to tidy up the hack job I did on her. I also made appointments today for the 5th(K to see the pediatrician & all of us getting flu shots), as well as for the 18th (A's eye test) and next February for his hearing test. Fun stuff :) I'm sure everyone will be looking forward to shot day! *insert maniacal mommy laughter here*

Cass :)

Of Shopping, Vacuums and Litterboxes...

Last night J and I completed our Christmas shopping. Normally he does all of it all alone but this year he insisted I join him in the task of buying the 4 gifts per child that we normally get the kids. I usually fight the Christmas spirit tooth and nail until Dec 1st so it was interesting shopping now. We pretty much found everything we were looking for and feel the kids will be happy on Christmas day. During our ramblings we stopped off at XScargo and checked out their stuff(click their name it's a link to their site).

I've been having vacuum issues and have been itching to buy a bag less vacuum and was thinking of a Dyson and shuddering at the price. So when I saw this little baby at the store for only $50 I picked it up. When we got it home J and I put it together and figured out how to empty it and stuff and I ran it thru the house. For now I say I am impressed...it certainly sucked up the dirt and hair on the carpets even with no beater bar and I think the dirt cup thing is cool(now I can see the little Lego guys arms and legs if I suck them up!) but I think the very coolest thing about it is that it fits in my spare cupboard. I had cleaned out this cupboard a while ago and decided it was only good for things that the kids would not be interested in. We had been keeping pudding cups in it and the kids(especially M) kept getting into it, it was driving me nuts! So, up until last night, all it had in it after I cleanup it out was dishwasher tablets and kitchen towels. The little vacuum fits in there perfect...the wand on it collapses rather than needing to be taken apart so the whole unit fits in there and isn't taking up any of the much needed 1000 square feet of my house!

J's random purchase of the night was a new litter box for the cat. I got it set up this morning and am happy with it. Now the big job is actually scooping the dang thing out once a day instead of ignoring it until the cat starts taking drastic measures to get out of the house to go.



















I have to thank my very good friend C for making my shopping trip possible...she actually brought her boys over to play at my house and watched my kids for me so J and I could go and finish the shopping. If she reads this I just want her to know that I really really appreciate her doing that for me, without her the kids wouldn't have had such a great time! Ever thoughtful she brought over homemade playdoh and I'm sure the kids had a total blast with it since the rest of the house was hardly messy at all.

So it's done...the only trick now is getting all the stuff into the house and then wrapping it...but that is a chore for another day....

Cass :)

Anger Management...

I Googled the above phrase and found this article which seems helpful and I'll have to re-read it when I don't have a naked 3 year old in my lap snuggling at 6:30am. My reason for looking up stuff on anger is that I seem to be angry more now and more easily as well. Very small things that I should just be able to take in stride are becoming major anger inducers for me and I am not happy about it, in fact it makes me angry!!

I was saying just last night to J that I have got to figure out what is setting all this anger off. It's not good for me since I am already on daily medication for high blood pressure. It's not good for the kids, especially A who seems to be angry all the time as well or at least easily angered, who learn behaviors from me. It's also no good for J since he is then dealing with a grumpy complaining woman every time he walks in the door of the house that should be a relaxing happy place for him.

So, although today is supposed to be my Muscle Works class at the Y, I'm going to go and relax and think about why I am angry so often. Maybe then I'll be able to take some action on defusing the whole situation a little.

Cass :)

Happy Thoughts...think happy thoughts.

So today on our way to the Y for our family day and J and M began their usual game of "Where's the Y? Do you see the Y, M?" just after going over the bumpy wooden bridge(where I always comment-"I can't believe you took me over this when I was in labour with M.").

The where is the Y game is very funny though. J and M play it every single time we drive to the Y as a family. As we start up the road where we can finally see the Y, M always says "I see the Y!" and J says "Where? Over there?" and points in any direction but the Y. M gleefully corrects J about 3 times before he finally says "Oh! There it is!" *grin* It is funny every single time :)

That got me to thinking about other good and funny things in my last little while so I got a few flashes that made me smile:

A and J talking about Pirates of the Caribbean and J saying 'Johnny Depp' in conversation to which A replies, with the actions to suit, "Arg! I'm Johnny Deaf! I can't see!" and begins staggering around the living room. J and I laughed a lot and he reminded me of the time Adam said Darth Vader was called Dark Vader because he wore black*laughs*.

*grin* Oh and on the way home and J asked M "Who's the cutest baby?" and she said "I am!"

*smile* When K asked if she could invite a friend over and J said "Only if they say no."

So no matter how stressed I am (and I have been stressed way to much this week) there are lots of times during the day when I laugh and smile and have a wonderful time with my family. Good thing to since my doctor told me Friday that it would be a very good idea to have A assessed for ADD. She has ADD herself and says that how he is acting at school and home sounds very familiar to her. I, of course, will have to be convinced and will delay any testing for a while until I have done more reading. I think he's 6 and a boy and that explains why he doesn't want to pay attention in class or stay on task.

Think happy thoughts...happy thoughts...

Cass :)

A new way to get in touch with me!

Or rather just the old way...again. If you know me you'll know my e-mail address or know how to contact me in other ways or just leave a comment saying "Hey it's me, So and so, contact me with your info so I can add you to my contacts on MSN!" I'll get back to you as soon as I can :)

Cass :)

One of those days...

Yeah...kind of a continuation of some of the obstacles that were set in my path yesterday. Only it was today. Rather than get into all the petty details I'll just, for the sake of brevity, say that I had a rotten day..compounded by all the joints on my left side aching off and on throughout the day and the fact that I am feeling very down. Mostly just this afternoon I've been blue. Hopefully it isn't the onset of the depression that seems to run in the family.

Why am I sad? I don't know ... a lot of little things seem to have gone wrong for me and sometimes just the constant mind numbing repetition of my life gets to me. I like routine most of the time...but housework needs to be done and meals need to be made and laundry needs to be washed and dried and folded and put away; over and over and over and over. That's some of it. I guess. Mostly this afternoon I just feel really sad for no real reason that I can put my finger on ... because over all I don't have anything that I can say "Blah! That's why I'm sad!" I just am ... I guess I should just try to enjoy the sadness and hope that I feel better after a good night's sleep. Before I had a family to take care of I would get blue a couple times a year and would just revel in my sadness for the day and not do anything...I don't have that luxury anymore.

Cass :(

M's Birthday & Birthstory Post

There...you've been warned. First I will type out her Birth Story as I wrote it in the front of her photo album years ago;

"Born: November 13th 2003 @ 5:25pm

Story: Mommy had just gotten home from a midwife appointment when K called from school saying she was sick, so Mommy and A went to get her. For the rest of the afternoon Mommy spent a lot of time kneeling on hands and knees to get "Eggbert" to turn into the perfect delivery position. At about 2:50pm Mommy switched to just sitting and thought she felt something but dismissed it. At 3pm A called Mommy to help him in the bathroom and Mommy realized her water had broken! Everything was slow for a bit but then went fast ... D from across the street thought she was going to have to deliver you! Daddy got home at 4:45pm and we got to the hospital only a half hour before you came! It was Mommy's easiest delivery yet and Mommy's first words were "It's a girl! M was wrong!" later Mommy asked Daddy if she was home dreaming! You were 7lbs 12oz at birth and nursed great right away!

Mommy December 13 2004

PS I can't believe you're a year old already! Right now you're just starting to stand up and will walk if someone is helping you."

Things I didn't add into that story:

How mad I was at K all the way home from her school for making me come out again on a cold , rainy, miserable day when I had already done the walk to the midwives office(50mins) and back that day.

How scared/weird K was when I was getting her to go downstairs to get a change of pants for me. I had had to wake her up because she was sleeping, she was not very happy when I told her "The baby is going to be born today!!".

On the way out to the van I was unable to walk during contractions.

I refused to let J hold the elevator in the parking garage for someone that was right behind us. J was surprised and I gave him a dirty look for even thinking about holding the elevator while I was in labour.

I told J on the way up to the maternity floor that although I didn't want one I understood why a lot of women get epidurals.

How boring the hospital was once M was born. I should have gone home right after delivery.

M's 3rd Birthday!!

Sadly M woke up on her birthday with a low grade fever and that explains the large amount of skin you will see in the following pictures...that and the fact M just prefers not to wear clothing when at home. Her brother was the same way and I don't remember K ever doing a lot of stuff in the buff.

Our first visitor was my good friend C who brought M her first present of the day; A bubble wand!

















The first Picture is M sucking in air...the second is where she is about to blow, I was faster than I thought. The third is the big payoff, Bubbles! The fourth is after she was done blowing.

In the afternoon, after a morning of TV and M and I had taken a short nap, I looked through my recipe book and finally found a cake that didn't need a whole lot of white sugar(I only had a 1/2 cup of the stuff in the house). This is how it turned out(way better than A's cake):



Of course what birthday would be complete without more presents? First we have a rescue center with Dora and Diego(?), the second shot is all the twist ties that were on the set, something that increasingly drives me nuts so that normally we remove all of them before we wrap birthday and Christmas presents.




M also got a colouring book, play doh, and crayons:





















Over-all even though she wasn't feeling(or looking) all that great M had a good birthday:


So that was M's big day! I will post again soon :)

Cass :)