Okay, I get it. Don't mess with Mother Nature!

After feeling not myself for the past three weeks I finally figured out the cause of all my emotional turmoil(I hope). It was my new birth control(hormonal/internal) and I've taken myself off it and feel better already!! Now that may be just my mind playing tricks but this particular birth control states once you are off it for 3 hours you can get pregnant, so the dose is low enough that I may be feeling better for real(oh I hope so).

So here's to not feeling mad, sad, weepy and out of control! I know my family will be happier if I am happier.

Cass :)

Tick Tock - No rest, even on weekends!

Well I shouldn't say "No Rest" I do get rests and plenty of them but every day is pretty much the same for me and there is always something I could be doing, I just often refuse to! Take today for example:

6:30am Got up because M came down and wanted to have her breakfast now. This is actually sleeping in for me since I normally get up at 5am.

7am J brought me my breakfast, he almost always cooks breakfast on the weekends because I do it(and bring it to him) all week. I kinda insist on him doing at least a few meals on the weekend. It was very yummy!

7:45am Came upstairs, got supper in the slow cooker, emptied the dishwasher, gathered up dishes from all over the house to put in the dishwasher(one time I am grateful for a small house), and washed the few recyclables. The kitchen is clean; so I swept the floor too.

8:30am Sit down for a mug of tea with J, everyone is fed and dressed and ready to leave for the Y at 9am.

9am Leave for the Y(on time *gasp*)

9:15am Arrive at the Y and K, A, M & I are in our suites and in the pool by 9:30am.

10am M & I get out of the pool and get dressed, it's time for swim lessons for the older two. I drop M off at Child minding about 10:15am(yes I look at my watch often). I go to the plus change room to pick up more towels for K & A and read the comics.

10:30am Get A out of the pool and get him dried off and dressed.

10:40am Go ask about the BBQ the Y is having to raise money that is starting at 11am.

10:45am K gets out of swim lessons and gets herself dried and dressed, A starts to cry because he misses his Daddy, we are waiting for him so we can tell him about the BBQ and where it is.

11:00am I take K's towels back to the Plus Change room and when I return J is there with the older kids. I send them out to get food and go get M from Minding.

11:30am We've all gotten our food and have eaten it. I take the kids to Family Gym while J takes a few things to the van.

11:55am M tells me she has to pee so I tell the older ones it's time to head for home(we normally only stay till noon) after a bathroom stop. We go to the Family change room and get our gear from the locker there and use the bathroom.

12:15pm Back home. I start some dough in the bread maker for French bread to go with the French onion soup we are having for supper, empty the dryer, put a new load in it and start it, re-fill the washer and start it. M comes down and climbs into my bed to take a nap and I check a few messages on the computer.

It's now 1:00pm ... I'm going to go lay down but I have to check when the dough will be ready first so I know when I have to be back in the kitchen to roll it out and shape it to rise. It will need to rise for a half hour and then bake for about 25 minutes after that. Should be perfect with supper(that only J and possibly K and I will eat) or for peanut butter sandwiches later on for the ones who don't eat supper. Never mind that laundry still has to be done(at least 3 loads).

I need a nap.

Cass :)

Ouch! Glad that's done with!

Yup, I went back today to my hairdresser to have more pain inflicted on me. It's done now and maybe I will be able to go longer than a month this time :)

Otherwise a so-so day. Grocery day today so there is once again food in the house(we only shop once a week to save money) and I had a nice visit with my Mom today and the topic of us having artificial nails again came up(we both like the idea) and we took M out for a short shopping trip.

M was a troublesome one today but I have resolved to try to freak no more and watch her more closely. If I can stick to it she just may be a better behaved kid by the end of summer. Speaking of summer: Am I the only one going "June is coming?!?!" Where the heck did spring go? *sigh* It's too dang hot in the summer and it seems to last forever. Ah well...I'll keep trying to remind myself that it's better than -30C with a wind chill.

That's it for me, I felt I should update. So there you go, all updated. OH! A let me pull another tooth today(his adult one was already growing in behind it, just like the first one) & K is talking about getting her hair cut very short(that should be interesting). Oh and a snippet of M: I was telling her that we were going to the hairdresser to have my lip hair waxed and she asked me "Will it hurt?" and I said "Oh, it won't hurt you at all! You won't feel a thing!" she actually laughed and said "Will it hurt you?" she was cool though, nabbed a sucker without asking and slurped away while I was being tortured*chuckle*.

Now you're updated, I'm going to bed!

Cass :)

Friendship ...

I've spent the last 12 hours pondering the nature of friendship. Mostly because, as far as I can see, one of mine is over. In the very short time I stayed on the phone with this friend when she called I was basically told I am not a good friend. So that got me thinking ... because it could very well be true. The key would be what do I consider friendship and what do I expect from my friends once I have them and what should they expect from me.

In person I have about 4 women that I talk to on a fairly regular basis ... not 'see' really but 'talk to' because we are all busy and I highly dislike messing with my routine or, in fact, leaving my house. Of those 4 I would not likely call on any of them for help because I know they are busy and have children so if I need someone to watch my kids or do something for me I try to get my Mom to do it or arrange things with my man(because they're his kids too). I would if I saw no other way though and think they would be there for me as I would be there for them, no questions asked because that's what friends are for, right?

So is part of friendship being there when you are needed? I think so. Am I there when I'm needed? I don't know ... I guess not always and certainly not in the way I may be needed just because I am the way I am.

I am an odd person, it's who I am. I own that and try to let everyone know that 'normal' really isn't in my parameters. I call myself an "Antisocial Extrovert" because I prefer to be home over any other place but enjoy talking on the phone for hours about all sorts of stuff. I don't do parties and rarely enjoy even small get togethers and highly dislike crowds(because humanity in general irritates me). Another friend of mine says it sounds like I have Social Anxiety and it comes out as this irritation and general grumpiness I feel when I am stuck in crowds ... I tend to agree.

With that in mind I try to be up front about what I think and what I say ... I don't play games. Little shocks me and I have had people tell me things and then be surprised at how little I react to it. The flip side of that is that I am very likely to say exactly what is running through my head without thinking first how it may be perceived by the person I am speaking to. I have no thought checker and it causes major problems often. If I do pause to think it's usually along the lines of what would upset me not what would upset another person because I have no handle at all on what will upset other people. How can I? We all have hugely different experiences in life and have different sensitivities. My Mom is very blunt and out-spoken and that is what I'm used to. Her words often sting a little but are always honest and exactly what she thinks so there is no guess work. I tend to be the same.

I make a pretty good sounding board if you are looking for honesty even at the cost of your feelings ... I think I am a pretty good friend. I'm not the nicest or easiest friend and I try to be clear about that right from the start. I mess up and I hurt others with the things I say and I apologize when I do and then I expect everyone to move on. I may very well make the same darn mistake again and soon, I'll feel badly that I hurt you but I'll make no excuses.

This is me.

It doesn't really help with how I feel right now(pretty miserable) because it's always hard to lose a friend and I feel this one really could use my help right now. Sadly I really don't seem to help her at all and only hurt her and make her mad because I am inept, insensitive and ignorant. If she reads this I hope she understands that I do care and she will be in my thoughts and I hope in everyone else's as well. I only want good things for her ... she's had enough rotten things happen to her for 10 lifetimes. I guess one of the good things may very well be not having me in her life to upset and anger her.

So what is friendship? I have no idea ... I only know that it hurts when you lose it.

Cass :(

Happy Mother's Day to Me! :)

This year I asked for a free gift ... a day off and I mean completely off. J & K are going to do the things on my daily checklist(I actually crossed out about half of them for today so they wouldn't have as much to do) and I will have all my meals brought to me and I am not responsible for anything today. So far: I slept in 'till almost 8am, took a long steamy shower, had breakfast and coffee served to me computer side, received a lovely e-card from my good friend C and a card that made me cry(as usual) from J.

I want to take this time now to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all my Mommy friends; I hope you all have wonderful days today and everyday!! Also to my own Mom(who sometimes reads my Blog); I love you Mom!! If it wasn't for you there would be no me and for that and so many other things I say "Thanks for being my Mommy!!"

I won't be completely lazy today ... I have laundry that I refuse to entrust to anyone else, control freak that I am, and I will putter about the basement making it a nicer place to relax today but that's it, honest! :)

Oh! In other Mommy news; A had his follow-up appointment yesterday and the pediatrician said that although A is certainly active and has attention issues he doesn't feel the level of activity and attention problems warrant any formal treatment at this time. We can re-assess him in late fall this year if the school continues to have issues with him. I can also spend some time and look up things I can do to help him(which I will) and also I need to get J more involved with A and school work. Schoolwork is one place where I'm just no good with my kids and A and I in particular can't seem to sit down with homework without fighting. J does a much better job of it.

K's heath issue seems to be resolved also *does happy dance* of course our next hurdle will be boys and such ... but I'm having a day off no time to think about THAT!! (Thank goodness).

M is getting better about going potty where she should. Our issue with her now? She is a huge fit thrower! Where did my sweet baby go? I asked J that yesterday "What happened to the sweet, cuddly, happy little girl that was here a few months ago?". Lately it seems like she cries over everything ... screams over everything. To the point where her cries mean little to any of us because she does it all the time. If you say "No." to her, she screams and cries, which makes no sense at all to me because I certainly don't give her her way just because she is crying. In fact I often say "Does that ever get you your way, M?" and feel less inclined to give her anything when she throws a fit. Like I said before K may be a Drama Queen but M is a Diva.

Well that's enough for now... I have relaxing to do :)

Cass :)

Oh my aching ...

... everything! J and I put in a hard day yesterday gardening. I'm still going to go to the Y today and do my aqua fit class but only because of the allure of not having to haul this body around on land for that 45 minutes!

We have two flowerbeds at the front of our house. One about 10 feet by 2 feet along the side of the driveway and another big wavy one across the front of the house so about 20 feet and no deeper than about 3 feet at any one point. I have been working on the side bed for the last few days and finally finished getting all the grass and weeds out of it yesterday morning. J has been talking about putting in a gravel trench around the front bed for a while because he wanted somewhere to put the wheels of the lawnmower when he cut near the bed and to keep the grass from the garden. So $80 and a day's hard work our front beds are done for the year(other than weeding). Now all we have to do is prep the back bed we use for veggies. That's a chore for another day. I wish it hadn't cost so much money to fix up the front bed but it was worth it. With some new bright red cedar mulch to set off the bed against the white rocks of the trench, wow, it is really nice looking! I am proud of us that we got it all done in one day. I am also very glad that it's done. I have other yard work things to do and the weather has been fantastic the last 3 or 4 days so I'm hoping to get it done soon. I still need to rake off the old mulch and put down the landscape fabric that was left over from the trench on the strip of ground behind the side flowerbed where I don't want anything to grow and there is always all the branches and twigs that need to be bundled and put out for our city's yard waste pickup. Ah, Spring!

Cass :)

Garden pictures Added by request:

Side Bed

Front Bed

Sing it with me now!

My house must have sounded like a nut house for bad singers two nights ago but when we were done the children and I were smiling and laughing. "Why?", you ask(and even if you don't I'm gonna tell you) because the kids and I sometimes sing horribly for fun. A started it; it was bedtime and I was trying to get everyone settled. I start with A then I go lay in the bottom bunk with M and sing lullabies to M & K and sometimes fall asleep myself for a while before I head downstairs to join J either at the computers or in bed. A started to sing the alphabet song badly out of tune on purpose ... I can't resist that so I sang badly out of tune with him. By the time we were half way thru the song a second time M and K had joined us in A's room and were also singly badly and loudly. J was in the bathroom he says it sounded like a couple cats being beaten in a bag*lol*. The kids and I did a third run thru the song at the top of our lungs as badly as we could and by the time we were done all of us(except maybe J) were laughing and smiling. I love my kids.

We had another laugh out loud moment(and I know I don't share nearly enough of these) yesterday morning with little M(who don't forget is three and has the cute little kid voice still). She was watching the cat clean himself on our bed and she suddenly announced to J & I "Ew! He's licking his bum!" J&I smiled and I told her that was how cats kept clean and she made a face and said "That's gross!!". J&I broke up laughing and kept repeating those statements throughout the day. That one is right up there with her old one she used to do all the time(over a year ago I would think) when she would come up and shake your hand and say "Hi, I'm M, pleased to meet you. Get out my house." *rofl* She's something else :)

Cass :)

The tooth taker strikes again!

Okay, so the tooth fairy I'm not. A lost his first tooth today with my assistance *grin* I was very proud of him. At least he didn't waffle about it like K did the other day.














I'm hoping there will be some sign that the adult tooth coming in behind where his baby tooth was will not move forward to fill the gap instead of staying back where it doesn't belong. J & I both have nice straight teeth, so genes will tell(even if J does joke that A is the Mailman's kid*chuckle*). Otherwise all is well on the home front. I've seen no more bug sign on the boy but will continue to check him in the next few days to make sure. He'll be going back to school on Monday. I'd type more but I'm cold and want to go to bed, that's what I get for leaving the windows open to day to air out the house *shiver* *yawn*

Cass :)

Another Day in the life of Mommy ...

I've actually been fairly busy, which is why I haven't posted sooner, the last while. Last week I did well and got to the Y 3 times(once to work out, once to relax and once for Family Day). Just this past Sunday a good friend of mine came over to do family shots of us. I love all the ones she's shown me so far but here are two of my fave's. One is the whole family on our front steps and the other is just me and the kids.

Of course I would like to point out now that A no longer looks like that because this morning we buzzed his hair. A has head lice and shorter hair means easier picking for me. I think, once again, that the Y was the culprit and neither of the girls have it(thank goodness!). We had a great time posing for pictures though as you can see .... before we knew about A's little interlopers. A is now going to stay home for the rest of the week(lucky him) which means I have a week of staying home as well ... *sigh* and I did so well last week!! I refuse to send my kids back to school until they are totally clean ... no nits no bugs. It's a personal policy of mine.

Hmmm ... what else is new. K let me pull out another loose tooth of hers today *gasp*. I didn't think she would since I had to try twice last time before I got the other one out. This time I insisted on a small set of pliers to do the work and she was a little nervous. Picture it; K and I in the kitchen. She's asked me to pull it out, I grab the little pliers, she comes to me and I take her jaw in my hand getting ready to grab the tooth with the pliers ... she backs off "I can't do it! It's gonna hurt!" "Only for a second," I reply "But it's gonna hurt!" she says cringing away from me even though I haven't moved from where I was. "Okay so how long will it hurt if I don't take it out?" I ask. "Until I take it out," she says takes a deep breath then a few more and then says "Okay I can do this!" and steps up to me. I take her jaw in my hand and prepare to grab her tooth with my pliers ... she backs off. Now repeat this for 5 minutes. I finally took a $5 bill from my wallet ... "I'll give you this if you just let me do it so I can go sit down," I say "but if you don't let me do it you'll get way less for the tooth." She knows I'm the tooth fairy, which is cool with me. Finally after another 5 minutes she lets me pull the tooth, which she doesn't even feel come out, I give her the $5 and she goes back to school. *chuckle* It was interesting to say the least.

A has two loose teeth and an adult tooth coming in(in the wrong spot - behind the baby tooth, good thing he has a dentist appointment soon). He didn't want me to pull his though. We finally got his paperwork all done and sent in and have his follow up appointment booked with the pediatrician. Yay! There's another long story behind his paperwork(which I lost for a little while and turned up later). I actually mailed it into the office because I was having trouble getting over to the town next to us(not that it's far ... just out of my usual circle). The paperwork turned up in the bottom of our family backpack ... under some wet swim suits. They were so moldy I photocopied them(thank goodness for out 3 in 1 printer/scanner/copier) and then sent those in. I'm interested to see what they think of the answers and what they recommend.

M is just as cute as ever(of course) and is a joy for everyone in the house, except for when she screams. Which she does when she's not happy with what she has been told. K is Drama Queen and coming into her own with pre-teen sullenness but M is a Diva and can throw a fit you wouldn't believe. I still don't know why, it never gets her her way. Poor A in the middle tends to be a bit of a clown and hates it when M screams and cries when K is mean to him. I feel bad for my only son and my dear man ... the males in our house are sadly outnumbered by us three scorpio females that can make our little piece of heaven fell like the 7th circle of hades. Good thing we normally don't all go off at once but it's only a matter of time(about 8 years) ... PMS X 3 won't be pretty.

*ponder* Well that's it from me for now. I had some deep thoughts and interesting observations about life, teenagers I overheard on the bus and other things but they have since vanished into the fog that rules my brain. Oh! I have good news, the illness I was fighting was Strep throat but I beat it. The doctor's office called me yesterday to offer antibiotics but I was reluctant, since I feel fine now, and the doctor said I didn't have to take them. That's all I got.

Cass :)