Friday, March 30, 2007

Oh, Hey! I remember this feeling!!

I actually feel calm and in control today (well except for that outburst over the pancakes this morning because they were sticking to the pan). Right this moment I'm feeling pretty darn good though! I have my morning chores done. I'm all done reading the stuff I read on the Internet and I'm about to go snuggle with M on my bed and it's not even 10am yet! I have a whole hour before I have to think about making lunch (M has requested cheesy eggs). I love moments like this and I wanted to Blog about it so I wouldn't forget. Way too often I spend a lot of time whining and not enough time thanking the powers that be for all the blessings in my life. I have a lot and sometimes I forget just how much I have. It's a good life and I can make it a whole lot better if I just put the right spin on it and try to look into the light instead of the dark. We all need a whole lot more calm and peace in our lives and I for one am not going to live without it anymore.

Cass :)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Flying again ...

Not all that long ago(although it may have been about a year) I stumbled upon FlyLady it's an online coaching site that gets you on track with your housework and just life in general. I did very well with FlyLady for quite a while but then thought I could do it without the checklists and online support and fell back into old habits and old ruts. It's free so I really had no excuse and I can't remember what lame reason I gave myself for ignoring my lists and bailing on my housework. I learned when I was Flying that I could keep the house clean and me happy very easily and with minimal effort(which I loved - lazy girl that I am). I still have my control binder and I decided that I would revamp my daily chores list(the old ones had 'Give Sammy Meds' on them) and step up again.

One of the great things about FlyLady is they tell you not to try to catch up but just to step back into the routine a little at a time until you can handle it all again. So I dusted off my binder, updated my chore lists and got to work. Today has been a very stress free day. I refuse to do everything today that I was thinking of doing because it's not on my daily chores or my chore of the day list. I'll get to it when my binder tells me. Also I'm not feeling very good today so it's nice to look at my daily check list and see that I have indeed done everything I was supposed to do this morning and have earned a chance to relax for a couple of hours until I do a little more work. My eventual goal? An easy to clean house(I know this is attainable it's sticking to it that I have trouble with), happy kids(because Mommy isn't stressed over the messy house) and daily morning trips to the Y to exercise(even the walk is exercise) by fall when M starts JK. I can do it. I know I can ... I just have to take one step at a time.

Cass :)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Mommy club rides again!

Yup another two months has past and it was time for us all to get together and have a nice supper together. I think we did well since we sat down at about 5:30pm and didn't leave the restaurant until about 7:30pm, leaving one of our number waiting on an order to take home to her man (Did G like it C?). L and I walked around the mall(who closes a mall on a Sat night at 6pm anyway???) to get to the Chapters. When we walked in they announced that they would be closing in 10 minutes so I only got a chance to pick up some workbooks that I plan on using for A to help re-enforce what he's sorta learning at school. It was a nice evening and I'm glad I went out. L's baby,W, is adorable as only breastfed babies can be and was wonderful thru the whole dinner. C is progressing with her pregnancy(I can't believe she's half-way already!!) and I'm just the same old forgetful, careless me. I found the restaurant a bit loud and had a hard time hearing my table mates properly and wish that I had had more time to shop after dinner but I can always go another day and spend money that I shouldn't spend :) I must have slept wrong because today I'm feeling out of sorts and my neck is stiff. The one dream I remember from last night was me yelling at K about something and just a while ago I took a nap and dreamed that I had caught a mouse(with thick gloves on) and while I was taking it outside it bit me thru the gloves...twice *sigh*

I talked with A's teacher on Friday and he will have his paperwork done on Monday ... I better get back to my own, I still have one booklet to do. He also wants more booklets for other teachers that work with Adam to fill out. Hopefully we will get a nice big picture for the Paediatrician to work with and he will make an accurate assessment of my boy.

K went to a dance at our local Boys' and Girls' Cub and had a great time with her friends. We talked about it this morning while the kids all came to cuddle with me in my bed. There were no boys she was interested in dancing with but she did dance with her girlfriends.

M was a crackerjack again on Friday evening(after having a good day) and dumped two bottles of detergent into my dirty laundry hamper *sigh*, peed on the floor in her room and was a general pain for the last hour before bedtime. So of course the day ended badly even though I had been a good Mommy for the rest of the day. I even went to the park with the kids, let M help me bake bread and paid lots of attention to her all day.

Like a friend of mine was saying just today in IM: Today is a new day, a fresh start.

The trick is remembering it.

Cass :)

Monday, March 19, 2007

Aww C'mon, M!! Give Mommy a break!

It's 3am. I can't sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I can't. Why am I up? It's because of M. Now M is 3 and we all dearly love her ... but she's got this whole pee issue. We're working on her peeing on the carpets in the house and making some progress with bribes(she gets two smarties for using the toilet). She also wets the bed every night, which I am normally willing to deal with. I won't put Good Nights on her because I hate disposable stuff like that. I just strip and remake her bed once a day. Well normally once a day ... the last 12 hours have been a different story *rolls eyes*

I actually got K to remake her bed yesterday(I love having an 11 year old!) which she did after I told her twice to do so. M didn't want to go to bed last night because she had taken a late nap(most of it on my chest while I was playing on the computer - I loved that as well, she so sweet and snuggly when she sleeps on me). Bed time is bed time in my house though so to bed she went ... by 9:30pm I was also changed for bed and while I was upstairs (for what I hoped was the last time before my inevitable wee hours trip to the bathroom) M popped her head out of her room and told me she had peed the bed ... but that her pants weren't wet ... which means she had pulled them down to pee in her bed *sighs*. So I got to remake her bed. M just got me up again at 2:30am to tell me she's wet again ... so I got to remake her bed a second time in one night and what do you want to bet it will be wet again in the morning?

I know she's 3, I hope she isn't doing this on purpose. I know this to shall pass(soon please!). I hope I'll be tired enough to go back to sleep soon ...

Cass :|

Saturday, March 17, 2007

A's Ped Appointment = Paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork!!


I'm not sure if I've covered this yet so I'll just start at the beginning. Ever since A started Grade One the school has been complaining that he has attention problems in class. My son is not learning to read as fast as everyone else in his class and his first report card was bad enough that I may never pay any attention to his report cards again! I see he is progressing, but slowly and only because I know he teacher is taking the time to work around the fact that A doesn't focus well. So we've started down the road of finding out if A has a bigger problem than being a 6 year old boy.

I'll be frank and say I don't like this road ... it's going to be a huge amount of work for me and I loathe any kind of work. Also at the end of it a label is going to be slapped on my son that he may have to live with for the rest of his life, something no parent wants to deal with at any time. Still, it must be done because I personally don't have the skills to teach my son. I need to find a way to fit him into the mainstream schools for now. If I see that is not going to happen I may try to teach him myself ... but I fear that I may not be up to the task, ever.

I have to be realistic. I also have to be prepared.

This will not limit him in the long run, if he is labelled he can still succeed in life just fine and be whatever he wants to be. This should not limit his potential.

Eventually I may have to look at the possibility of medication, I hope not and will look at all other alternatives first, but I need to know that is a very real thing that will most likely be the first thing a doctor will suggest :(

So far we have cleared his sight and hearing. Now on to the behavioural screening, which means a huge amount of paperwork for me and his teachers*sigh*

Wish me luck ... or at least a tiny label M'kay?

Cass :|

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Phase One, Done!


Another entry about the Toy Purge of 2007:

Got all the toys out of the kids bedrooms and a bunch of stuff tossed as well ... although I can see there is more stuff that needs to go over the next several months of just general household stuff that isn't being used or is broken.

The kids seem to be adjusting well to the fact they have almost no toys, which just goes to show you we give them way too much. They've been playing more with each other than usual as well, also a good thing. I think the fact I warned them that the toy purge/storage time was coming helped a great deal.

Of course the next big step is letting all the extended family know that the only gifts I want in future is cash or clothes ... I also have to make the time to let them all know current sizes and clothing tastes(Like no dresses for M, and only pull up pants for A, and nothing revealing or that has words on the bum for K). All doable, of course.

March break is upon me and I have my week planned out fairly well. Only Monday is up in the air(maybe C will come visit us with her boys?), Tuesday is K's dentist appointment to make her mouth guard for her teeth grinding, Wednesday I'll be going to visit a friend I haven't seen in person in a couple of years, Thursday is A's pediatrician appointment, and Friday we will relax or maybe have another visit with C and her boys depending on how stir crazy the kids are. That's a busy enough week for me!

Things have calmed down here, although M continues to cause trouble and pee on the floor. I keep reminding myself to watch her more closely ... sooner or later it will sink in!!

Cass :)

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

This old familiar feeling ... a rant.

I'm at the end of my rope ... again. I spend entirely too much of my time feeling like this: Frustrated, Angry, Beaten. Like my entire life is just futile. Every time I turn around little 3 year old M is making another huge mess for me to clean up even when I figure this time for sure she'll be occupied or her brother or sister will notice she's up to something. Nope. Not this time not any time. It's always the same thing ... why it is I keep forgetting that she appears to be the child that is bound bent and determined to put me in an early grave I have no idea.

I know. She's 3, she doesn't get it. My 6 year old son gets it, kinda, and my poor 11 year old daughter has the sense to bow her head and weather the storm. But M? Nope she doesn't get it. Take today (Oh please just erase the whole day from my mind. Please!!) I have spent the day productively for once .. .checking on her(not often enough sadly... never often enough) and then going about my work. I'm not relaxing ... I'm working.

She's drawn a great huge black line on the wall near my bed, she's ripped 80% of the crust off the fresh loaf of bread I made this morning, with the last of our flour I might add, and she's smeared peanut butter on the floor I just mopped today after neglecting it for over a month. She also spilled a drink that her sister gave her(the same sister that I let stay home this afternoon because she has a cold and felt so bad she was crying).

So when she was supposed to be watching a movie that she asked for M was mucking about in the kitchen ... wrecking stuff. While I was reading on my bed and taking a well earned rest. Now a short 10 minutes after I was just upstairs ranting about the mess and the undoing of my work A and M are running around playing and K is asking to come down here after I told her already she was to spend the afternoon in bed if she felt so bad she couldn't go to school.

And me? I'm still pissed right the heck off. I have even more cleaning to do now. But why do I bother to clean???? The kids don't care. M certainly doesn't care. She'll pee on a rug quicker than any 3 year old I know ... my house currently smells so bad to the un-adjusted nose that my Mom won't even come in to visit me. I still need to clean the carpets ... again for the third time in the last 6 months or less. I need to clean the walls because my kids seem to have no concept of the fact that we draw on paper no matter how many times I tell them or how many times I throw out all the crayons in the house. So I'm the one that ends up mad and upset and feeling like just when I was getting my head above the sea that is the housework that M for the most part just pushes me under again. I yell, I cry, I plead, I feel like tearing my hair out and I do more work or I do no work or I make some plan that I think will help. And Nothing Helps. No matter how many times I complain to my friends or try to calm down, nothing helps. I never hit the kids but I always feel guilty for yelling for losing it, for sending them to their rooms when it's me always me at fault for not watching them closely enough ... not thinking around the corners.

I guess I better go clean some more ... it's not going to do itself y'know. This isn't helping either and what words of comfort can any of you offer me that is going to solve the problem anyway or be anything more than a band-aid on the problem?

Cass :( :(

Monday, March 05, 2007

No More! - - - Less, Yes! AKA The Great Toy Purge of 2007.

Yup, I've had it, again. I threw a huge fit on Friday(actually two huge fits - poor kids) and then I did some thinking. Here's the deal:

We live in a small house ... We have a total of about 1000 Square feet. We do most of our living upstairs ... basically we live in a 25 foot by 25 foot box ... we have a basement that is about the same size that is about 80% finished(the rest is storage and furnace area and J's work room where he keeps his tools). Upstairs is divided in half by a small hall ... the front door leads into the living room, A's room is next to the living room the short hall contains the doors for the bathroom and stairwell downstairs then there is the girls' room and the kitchen next to each other and the dining room/entryway/add on porch off the back of the kitchen(there used to be a door but we removed it when we insulated the backroom). So boxes in boxes ... the living room, bedrooms and kitchen are all about 10 feet by 10 feet the hall is about 3 feet wide, all additional space is taken up by the old fashioned lath and plaster walls and the brick exterior walls. The bathroom(we only have one) is tiny with just enough room for the door to swing in and the toilet and sink and tub/shower. The kids are always bringing their toys out of their rooms and it drives me nuts ... they can play in their rooms(especially A who has almost all his floor space clear because his bed is a loft bed and he doesn't have to share his room).

So enough is enough I have made my decision ... I'm taking all their toys away from them until they can learn to take care of and value their belongings. It's a common complaint ... most modern parents give our kids too much ... because we love our kids and we love to make them happy but we all overdo it. My kids are not as bad a case as some but they are bad enough.

First step: I've cleaned their rooms and put things away. I will go thru their toys with them and we will decide what can be just tossed now(donated or trashed depending on the toy's condition).

Second step: Each child can choose one comfort toy and two playing toys. All other toys will go into storage. In two weeks if they have taken care of the toys they have chosen they get to describe the next toy they want out of storage.

I have to set a maximum toy number, I'm thinking 10. If after 6 months a toy hasn't been asked for or exchanged for(once each child reaches their toy max they can exchange for new toys) it goes to donation.

From now on at birthdays and Christmas they will get one toy gift ... all other gifts will be clothing or money(to go towards other useful items - like school supplies, bedding and shoes). Or family members could always choose to donate a toy to a charity.

Now to implement it ... I have step one done, about half way.

Cass :)