So recently I have once again been trying to get my life on track, get settled into my routines that I know work and sticking to it. Of course as my Mom pointed out to me the other day "You're very enthusiastic when you're talking about these things Cass but your follow thru needs work.". She's entirely correct ... I'm great at planning. I'm wonderful at planning and writing down my plans and I'm even pretty good at sticking to said plans, for about 3 days.
As with many things in my life I have real success issues. I know this very well about myself and I hear knowing the problem is half the battle but sadly it's the solving the problem part where I fall on my face. Basically it's like I am afraid of actually succeeding. I see this in everything in my life from my housework to the games I play on my computer. I very rarely manage to follow thru on anything. So I end up opening my eyes and looking around my life every few weeks and saying "How did I let all this go for so long!?" At this point it's mostly the house and the things I have to do here that I am trying to focus on. Of course that covers quite a bit of stuff. My To Do list looks something like this:
TO DO
Get into a routine with the house cleaning and stick to it.
Meal plan 3 meals a day and a suggested snack every week.
Keep the laundry under control.
Set up and stick to a daily routine to help A with his school work.
Keep an eye on M, if you can't see her she's doing something you won't like.
My extended list includes decluttering, getting into the Y, finding time for J&I to be alone as well as budgeting and cutting costs. This week(yeah all 2 days of it) I am doing well. I got thru my morning routine before I walked the kids to school today(I have to be able to do that so that when I start going to the Y everything still gets done). I have been meal planning all three meals as well as baking a lot of things we eat from scratch(just since Thursday though). J expressed concerns this morning that I would get tired of the time it takes to do this and I said to him "I have time, even when I go to the Y in the mornings I have loads of time. I can't use time as an excuse. I have to quit wasting it."
I'm right. I am very good at wasting time and it needs to stop. I'm not 12 anymore I'm 35 and it's way past time that I grew up and started doing more with myself that nothing. How can I look at J and know I love him when all I do to replay everything he has given me(a home, 2 children, the option not to go out to work) is whine and moan about what a mess the house is and how I can't seem to keep my act together long enough to keep it that way for more than 3 days at a time! I have no excuses. I'm in good health and I am capable. I know what needs to be done and have the tools to do it. I know exactly how to keep the house looking great by only doing an hour or two of housework a day. If knowledge is power why do I spend so much of my time feeling powerless or is that just my utter lack of motivation to do anything I'm feeling?
So I'm kicking myself in the backside ... again ... and hoping this time it sticks. I can do this. The key is that I need to keep doing it!
Cass :)
PS - In case any of you were wondering my neck is feeling better just a tiny bit of stiffness left.
3 comments:
You know why you can't keep up? Because it's impossible to take care of 3 kids and a husband and have ANY time to yourself. I know, I only have 2 kids and a husband and I can barely keep up. Hang in there Cass!
Do you want some simple recipes? I'm a pretty good cook. No gourmet or anything, but I do cook dinner after work every night (well, nearly every night) and I'm quite skilled. I'm about a sims 7 or 8 on cooking. :p We use a lot of chicken as its low cholesterol and I sneak in health where I can. Drop me an email if you want some. Oh, and if you have a crockpot, I have great recipes for it too.
30 minute meals by Rachel Ray! Man she is AWESOME, and her meals are made in a half hour, mostly from scratch and healthy for you. Her recipies are also versitile, and can be used time and time again, and taste completly diffrent by changing just a couple of the ingrediants.
As for your problem, I'm kind of the same way, as Tanya said, 'me' time is VERY important. As long as I get an hour by myself a day, I'm good as gold to keep up with the house work and make sure the children are doing what they are suppose to be doing. When I don't I tend to get completly frazled and never want to do anything. You can do it Cass, just make sure you get some time in for yourself, seriously it helps. Take a bubble bath, paint your nails, soak your feet, read a magizine or book, something that YOU find relaxing-and sometimes if you add those girly things they make you feel better about your outside self which makes you feel all around better-or at least that works for me, and I'm NOT a girlie girl, but I do find that when I make myself look pretty on the outside, I feel more alive on the inside and much more motiviated to do something useful. ;)
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