I Protest!!

I know it's been a while since I updated, it's pretty much been the same old same old here. We took M back to the doctor last weekend because there was a lump on her broken collar bone, turned out we weren't splinting her tight enough and the bone had come out of alignment and was overlapping. Yeah, M has an inhuman pain tolerance, I have no other explanation.

I can't think of anything else that is new; I didn't make it to the Y at all last week but have gone both Monday and Wednesday this week. I had to take a cab home Monday because I pulled a calf muscle about a half a block from the Y and couldn't walk home...it was better by yesterday though and is only a bit stiff today. I also went back to my aqua fit class yesterday and had a blast:)

In other news I found a lovely lady that is going to make waterproof pads for M & A's beds, the ones I have been using aren't holding up well to the washing and I've already had to throw one out, they are also a huge pain to put on the beds. I'm going to her house today to give her a deposit on them, I told M it was going to be a 'Bus Adventure' I'm sure we'll have a fun time!

On to the reason for the title of my post today: On the way home yesterday I was thinking about stuff and letting my mind wander. It may be just me and the fact I see very few people out walking when I am but I am sick of being afraid. If you read the paper and listen to what everyone is saying we should all be crippled with fear!

I am told all the time by our media that I should be afraid ... about the water, the food and the air I am consuming, about people snatching my kids and doing horrible things to them, about how I parent and what kind of mental scars I may be leaving, about someone attacking me when I am out alone, I'm surprised that I can leave the house some days.

I protest! I will not live in fear! Sometimes it sneaks in anyway, usually when I am out alone or with just little M. Oddly, I feel safer if I have a child with me ... I have no idea why. When I am out alone I am a mess, I watch everyone closely that comes near me even if I am on busy streets and then I am angry because I am afraid. I do my best not to show it, making eye contact and paying attention are my best weapons and I know it. It makes me very very angry though because I shouldn't have to be afraid.

Cass.