I'll freely admit the main reason I haven't been posting here is because I don't have much good to say. Oh, everyone is fine and our Christmas shopping is going well and I think the kids will like their gifts.
I on the other hand have not been fine. I fell behind in the housework(although the menuing is still going well) and have only just today got back to where I feel like I have my feet under me again. The laundry is under control and the house looks reasonable(although I know there are still hidden and not so hidden treasure troves of dirt). The cat is now completely switched to a new litter that is compostable and I can now flush his poo instead of throwing it in the trash(this oddly makes me very happy).
My mood this past week has been horrendous ... PMS and many other things I have no doubt. I have yelled at the kids and felt like an utter failure as a Mom and cried and yelled some more. I feel better today but I think I'll be getting my period very soon now so that helps. All in all the last 3 days have been very hard for me. As all of you know from reading my blog my temper is an issue(or I feel it is). I'm lucky to have a very understanding and long suffering man and my kids aren't near as bad as I feel they are sometimes. /sigh/ I don't know, I'm just having a hard time and it doesn't make any sense. Things are good right now, we have a budget and a plan, the house is reasonable and the kids are ... well, kids. I mean what do I expect? So things are good but I feel rotten. I'm hoping this time it was just PMS and I'll be able to shake the mood I've been in. I do feel better today(for all that I'm sniveling at the keyboard) and that is always a good sign.
I guess I'm posting this to let everyone know why I haven't been posting. I don't really want sympathy(because I don't feel I deserve or need it) I just wanted to explain.
Cass.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
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2 comments:
I have times like this myself, where I feel the whole world is against me and no one appreciates what I do so why not just go....but I know its not true, and that I am appreciated and that I have no reason to flip out on everyone but I do it anyways...it is really actually quite comforting to know that I'm not just inheriting my ma's craziness it happens. I have been VERY afraid that I was turning into her, and that is the LAST thing I want. Not that my mom isn't a good person, she just has these phases where it is her way or no way no matter what it is, and to some extent in my house I'm the same way but I expect honesty not what I want to hear, unlike her who preaches that she wants honesty but in actuality she just wants to hear what she wants to hear, so it makes her go ballistic and wishey washy which is the problem I have with becoming her. I know you don't want sympathy but being that I do the same thing I can't help but sympathize with you. I don't know how to change it, but if I figure out how to help the problem with myself I'll be sure to pass it on because maybe it will help with you as well.
Actually Vixn, I've been tons better since I went back on birth control pills. I think my hormones were off.
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